The Fifth Science Fiction Megapack Read online

  Table of Contents

  COPYRIGHT

  A NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER

  AGAPE AMONG THE ROBOTS, by Allen Steele

  THE STARSHIP MECHANIC, by Jay Lake and Ken Scholes

  PEACEMAKER, by Gardner Dozois

  OR ALL THE SEAS WITH OYSTERS, by Avram Davidson

  GRANDMA, by Carol Emshwiller

  THE GIFT BEARER, by Charles L. Fontenay

  I, ROBOT, by Cory Doctorow

  ALL RIGHTS, by Pamela Sargent

  THE EICHMANN VARIATIONS, by George Zebrowski

  MAY BE SOME TIME, by Brenda W. Clough

  CYBERPUNK, by Bruce Bethke

  MILLENNIUM, by Everett B. Cole

  JOIN OUR GANG? by Sterling E. Lanier

  GREYLORN, by Keith Laumer

  JUMPING THE LINE, by Grania Davis

  HE’S ONLY HUMAN, by Lawrence Watt-Evans

  THE WASONICA CORRECTION, by James C. Stewart

  CIRCUS, by Alan E. Nourse

  THE HATED, by Frederik Pohl

  CODE THREE, by Rick Raphael

  COST OF LIVING, by Robert Sheckley

  THIS IS KLON CALLING, by Walter J. Sheldon

  THE BIG BOUNCE, by Walter S. Tevis

  THE RISK PROFESSION, by Donald E. Westlake

  THE FIRE EGGS, by Darrell Schweitzer

  ABOUT THE AUTHORS

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  The Fifth Science Fiction Megapack

  Gardner Dozois Allen Steele Donald E. Westlake

  Wildside Press LLC (2012)

  * * *

  Tags: Short Stories, anthology

  Short Storiesttt anthologyttt

  The fifth volume in the Science Fiction Megapack series collection 25 tales of high adventure through other worlds and times, 5 Hugo and Nebula Award-winners and nominees. Included this time are:

  AGAPE AMONG THE ROBOTS, by Allen Steele

  THE STARSHIP MECHANIC, by Jay Lake and Ken Scholes

  PEACEMAKER, by Gardner Dozois

  OR ALL THE SEAS WITH OYSTERS, by Avram Davidson

  GRANDMA, by Carol Emshwiller

  THE GIFT BEARER, by Charles L. Fontenay

  I, ROBOT, by Cory Doctorow

  ALL RIGHTS, by Pamela Sargent

  THE EICHMANN VARIATIONS, by George Zebrowski

  MAY BE SOME TIME, by Brenda W. Clough

  CYBERPUNK, by Bruce Bethke

  MILLENNIUM, by Everett B. Cole

  JOIN OUR GANG? by Sterling E. Lanier

  GREYLORN, by Keith Laumer

  JUMPING THE LINE, by Grania Davis

  HE'S ONLY HUMAN, by Lawrence Watt-Evans

  THE WASONICA CORRECTION, by James C. Stewart

  CIRCUS, by Alan E. Nourse

  THE HATED, by Frederik Pohl

  CODE THREE, by Rick Raphael

  COST OF LIVING, by Robert Sheckley...

  Contents

  COPYRIGHT

  A NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER

  AGAPE AMONG THE ROBOTS, by Allen Steele

  THE STARSHIP MECHANIC, by Jay Lake and Ken Scholes

  PEACEMAKER, by Gardner Dozois

  OR ALL THE SEAS WITH OYSTERS, by Avram Davidson

  GRANDMA, by Carol Emshwiller

  THE GIFT BEARER, by Charles L. Fontenay

  I, ROBOT, by Cory Doctorow

  ALL RIGHTS, by Pamela Sargent

  THE EICHMANN VARIATIONS, by George Zebrowski

  MAY BE SOME TIME, by Brenda W. Clough

  CYBERPUNK, by Bruce Bethke

  MILLENNIUM, by Everett B. Cole

  JOIN OUR GANG? by Sterling E. Lanier

  GREYLORN, by Keith Laumer

  JUMPING THE LINE, by Grania Davis

  HE’S ONLY HUMAN, by Lawrence Watt-Evans

  THE WASONICA CORRECTION, by James C. Stewart

  CIRCUS, by Alan E. Nourse

  THE HATED, by Frederik Pohl

  CODE THREE, by Rick Raphael

  COST OF LIVING, by Robert Sheckley

  THIS IS KLON CALLING, by Walter J. Sheldon

  THE BIG BOUNCE, by Walter S. Tevis

  THE RISK PROFESSION, by Donald E. Westlake

  THE FIRE EGGS, by Darrell Schweitzer

  ABOUT THE AUTHORS

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  COPYRIGHT

  The Fifth Science Fiction Megapack is copyright © 2012 by Wildside Press LLC. Indiviual stories are copyrighted by their authors. Cover art © Heywoody / Fotolia. All rights reserved.

  For more information, contact the publisher through wildsidepress.com or the Wildside Press Forums. For publication information on individual stories, see the Acknowledgments page at the end of this volume.

  A NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER

  Over the last year, our “Megapack” series of ebook anthologies has proved to be one of our most popular endeavors. (Maybe it helps that we sometimes offer them as premiums to our mailing list!) One question we keep getting asked is, “Who’s the editor?”

  The Megapacks (except where specifically credited) are a group effort. Everyone at Wildside works on them. This includes John Betancourt, Carla Coupe, Steve Coupe, Bonner Menking, Colin Azariah-Kribbs, A.E. Warren, and many of Wildside’s authors…who often suggest stories to include (and not just their own!). For instance, Pamela Sargent’s alternate-worlds story in this issue was suggested by George Zebrowski, after we approached George to reprint “The Eichmann Variations” (which we remembered from its original publication in Michael Bishop’s excellent anthology, Light Years and Dark [1984]).

  * * * *

  In The Fifth Science Fiction Megapack, we include two award-winners and a bunch of nominees. “Or All the Seas with Oysters,” by Avram Davidson, won a Hugo Award. And “The Peacemaker,” by Gardner Dozois, won a Nebula Award. “The Eichmann Variations,” by George Zebrowski, was a Nebula Award finalist; “Code Three,” by Rick Raphael, was a Hugo finalist; and “May Be Some Time,” by Brenda Clough, was both a Hugo and a Nebula finalist.

  If you’re in the mood for more Avram Davidson after reading “Or All the Seas with Oysters,” Audible is releasing his short story collection Or All the Seas with Oysters (which contains the title story we reprinted here—plus many others) in audiobook format. This will be the third Davidson audiobook they have released in the last year. Good stuff!

  A NOTE FOR KINDLE READERS

  The Kindle versions of our Megapacks employ active tables of contents for easy navigation…please look for one before writing reviews on Amazon that complain about the lack! (They are sometimes at the ends of ebooks, depending on your reader.)

  We continue to work on improving our ebook navigation, and with this Megapack, we hope to have the table of contents at both the beginning and the end. (If not, we’re sure we’ll hear about it...)

  RECOMMEND A FAVORITE STORY?

  Do you know a great classic science fiction story, or have a favorite author whom you believe is perfect for the Megapack series? We’d love your suggestions! You can post them on our message board at http://movies.ning.com/forum (there is an area for Wildside Press comments).

  Note: we only consider stories that have already been professionally published. This is not a market for new works.

  TYPOS

  Unfortunately, as hard as we try, a few typos do slip through. We update our ebooks periodically, so make sure you have the current version (or download a fresh copy if it’s been sitting in your ebook reader for months.) It may have already been updated.

  If you spot a new typo, please let us know. We’ll fix it for everyone. You can email the publisher at [email protected] or use the message boards above.

  —John Betancourt

  Publ
isher, Wildside Press LLC

  www.wildsidepress.com

  * * * *

  THE MEGAPACK SERIES

  The Adventure Megapack

  The Cowboy Megapack

  The Craig Kennedy Scientific Detective Megapack

  The Cthulhu Mythos Megapack

  The Ghost Story Megapack

  The Horror Megapack

  The Macabre Megapack

  The Martian Megapack

  The Military Megapack

  The Mummy Megapack

  The Mystery Megapack

  The Science Fiction Megapack

  The Second Science Fiction Megapack

  The Third Science Fiction Megapack

  The Fourth Science Fiction Megapack

  The Fifth Science Fiction Megapack

  The Penny Parker Megapack

  The Tom Corbett, Space Cadet Megapack

  The Tom Swift Megapack

  The Vampire Megapack

  The Western Megapack

  The Wizard of Oz Megapack

  AUTHOR MEGAPACKS

  The Andre Norton Megapack

  The B.M. Bower Megapack

  The Murray Leinster Megapack

  The Second Murray Leinster Megapack

  The Andre Norton Megapack

  The Rafael Sabatini Megapack

  AGAPE AMONG THE ROBOTS, by Allen Steele

  When Samson met Delilah, the first thing he did was crush an apple against her head. Delilah didn’t react in any way; she sat calmly on the park bench, her hands folded primly in the lap of her long purple dress, staring straight ahead as wet pulp ran down her face and into the neckline of her lace collar. She didn’t even look up as Samson walked around the front of the bench, bowed from the waist, and gallantly offered his hand.

  In the Samson Team control van, though, we were either cracking up or gaping at our monitors in dumb surprise. All except Phil Burton; glaring through the one-way glass window, almost apoplectic with rage, his mouth opened and closed several times before he finally managed to give utterance to his thoughts.

  “W-w-w-what t-t-t-the…what the hell was that?” he demanded. “W-w-who pr-pr-programmed th-th-th-tha-that…?”

  “Nobody programmed it, Phil,” I said. I had been worked with him long enough to intuit what he meant when his speech impediment got in the way. He looked sharply my way, and I hastily coughed into my hand to hide my grin. Phil had a tendency to think people were laughing at him even when something else funny was going on. “Honest. I checked Samson’s routine myself. That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  “I-I-I know th-th-th-th….” Phil shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and silently counted to ten. While he was counting, I glanced past him at Keith D’Amico; although he was still chuckling, he had already checked out his own screen. He caught my eye and shook his head. No, he didn’t have a clue as to what went wrong either.

  “Phil, Jerry…I’ve put Samson in standby mode.” This from Donna Raitt, seated at the console on the other side of me. Unlike Keith and me, she hadn’t lost it when Samson had assaulted Delilah with a deadly fruit; she was watching her screen, her hand cupped over her headset mike. “It looks like D-team has done the same,” she added quietly. “I haven’t heard from Dr. Veder’s group yet.”

  “Oh, but you will…you will.” Keith was doing his Yoda impression again. “Beware the dark side, Luke…”

  “Knock it off.” Phil had managed to get control of his stutter. He glared at Keith, then turned back to me. “Okay, I believe you. It’s a glitch, that’s all.” He glanced out the window, taking a moment to study the two robots frozen in the wooded atrium. “Access his memory buffer from the beginning of the test up to when Donna put him on standby.”

  “Death Star in range within ten seconds,” Keith murmured.

  If Phil heard that—and judging from the annoyed expression which briefly crossed his face, he did—he chose to ignore it. He turned to Bob, the kid operating the remote camcorders. “You got everything, didn’t you?”

  “What…oh, yeah, yeah, it’s all here.” Bob was wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. “Do you want a copy, Dr. Burton?”

  “No, I want you to delete the whole thing.” Bob stared at him in surprise, and for a moment his hands moved to the editing board. “Goddammit, of course I want a copy!” Phil snapped. “Run it off now! Move!” He returned his attention to me. “C’mon, Jerry, gimme everything you got…”

  “Coming right now.” I had already loaded a fresh 100 MB disk. A few deft commands on the keypad above my lap, and a bar-graph appeared on my screen, indicating that the data Phil wanted was being copied. I looked again at Keith; behind Phil’s back, he had his right hand raised, and he was counting off the seconds with each finger he folded into his palm. Five…four…three…two…one…

  “Delilah Team just called in.” Once again, Donna had clasped her hand over the wand of her headset. “Dr. Veder wants to meet with you in the test area…umm, right now, Phil.”

  The color vanished from Phil’s face. “Uhh…t-t-tell her I’ll b-b-b-be there as…as…”

  My terminal chirped. I popped out the disk, shoved it into Phil’s hand, then snapped my fingers at Bob. He ejected the DVD from the camcorder, slapped it into a jewelbox, then passed it to Keith, who tapped it against Phil’s shoulder. That seemed to wake him up; he blinked a few times, then turned to snatch the DVD from Keith’s hand.

  “He’s coming now,” Donna said quietly into her headset. “Sorry for the problem. We had a problem here, but…”

  “Stick to the rules. No contact except between team leaders.” Phil took another deep breath, then clapped the two disks together as he turned sideways to squeeze past her and me as he headed for the control van’s door. “Wish me luck.”

  “May the Force be with you,” Keith said, and I shot a look which told him that I’d like to stick a light-saber where a Jedi couldn’t find it. “Good luck,” he added, albeit reluctantly.

  “Thanks.” Phil grabbed a roll of paper towels from the shelf near the door. Then, almost as an afterthought, he looked back at Keith. “Wipe the memory buffer, will you? I don’t want this to affect the next test.” Then he stepped out of the van, slamming the door shut behind him.

  For a moment no one said anything, then everyone collapsed in their seats. “Man, oh man,” Keith muttered, covering his face with his hands. “I thought he was going to have a stroke…”

  “Thought he was going to have a stroke?” Donna shook her head. “You should have heard what was going on in D-team’s trailer. Kathy sounded like she was ready to…”

  “Are you off-line?” I asked quietly, and her eyes went wide as she lunged for the mute button. Keith chuckled as he reached for the two-pound bag of Fritos he kept stashed beneath the console. I glanced at Bob; he said nothing as he hunched over his screen, replaying the test on his monitor. Fresh out of MIT, he had been working for LEC for less than five months now, and only very recently had been assigned to the R3G program. He was wisely keeping office politics at arm’s length, nor could I blame him.

  Through the window, I watched Phil as he walked toward the bench where Samson stood frozen, his right hand still extended. He glanced nervously toward the opposite side of the atrium, then he tore a wad of paper off the roll and began hastily wiping the apple shards off Delilah’s spherical head. I had to wonder why someone on her team had felt compelled to put her in a dress. Perhaps to accentuate her feminine role; although the test was supposed to work out bugs in their handshaking procedures, the scenario Phil and Kathy had mutually devised was supposed to playfully emulate a quaint, old-fashioned courtship. So far, though, the results weren’t very promising.

  “Oh, such a nice man,” Keith said, propping his sandals up on his console as he shoved a fistful of chips in his mouth. “Look, he’s cleaning…uh-oh, here she comes.”

  From behind him, Dr. Katherine “Darth” Veder came stalking through the trees, her hands shoved in the pockets of her lab coat. Even before he saw
her, Phil must have heard her coming, for he fumbled with the roll in his hands as he reluctantly turned to face her.

  “Oh, boy, is she pissed or what?” Bob murmured.

  “What,” I replied, and Donna arched an eyebrow knowingly.

  “Dum-dum-dum-dah-de-dum-dah-de-dum,” Keith hummed. “Volume, please. I don’t want to miss this.”

  The van was soundproofed, but we had a parabolic mike aimed at the test area. Donna started to reach for her board to activate it. “Don’t,” I said quietly, shaking my head at her. “Let’s let them handle this themselves.” Smiling a little, Donna withdrew her hand.

  Keith sighed in disgust, then pulled on his headset and tapped a command into his console. I had little doubt that he was patching into Samson’s external mike to eavesdrop on their conversation, if it could be called that. Through the window, I could see Kathy yelling at Phil, her small hands gesturing wildly as she pointed at him, at Samson, at Delilah, at our van, and back at Phil again. Although Phil’s back was half-turned to us, his hands were almost as busy, first making gestures of supplication and apology, then briefly returning to his sides—he was probably counting to ten again—before rising again to make irate motions of his own.

  Donna rested her elbows on the console and cupped her chin in her hands. Bob picked up the month-old issue of Spin he had placed on top of one of the mainframes. Keith pawed at his bag of chips, watching with interest while the two team leaders ripped into each other.

  “I wish these guys would hurry up and admit they’re in love,” he muttered.

  Meanwhile Samson and Delilah patiently waited nearby, ignored yet omnipresent, as stoical as only robots can be.

  Okay. Time to backtrack a bit.

  You know about LEC, of course…or at least you should, if you pay attention to TV commercials, browse the web, or visit shopping malls. Lang Electronics Corporation is one of the three major U.S. manufacturers of consumer robots; it started out as a maker of IBM-clones in the early ’80s, then diversified into robotics shortly after the turn of the century, introducing its first-generation robot vacuum cleaners and home sentries about the same time that its closest competitors, CybeServe and Cranberry, entered the market with their own household ’bots. CybeServe was the leading company, and solidified that position after it was bought out by Mitsubishi; Cranberry, on other hand, was hurt by poor sales and a reputation for making second-rate ’bots that tended to forget instructions, burn actuators, and taser the mailman. By the time CybeServe and Mitsubishi merged, Cranberry had laid off one-third of its employees and was on the verge of declaring bankruptcy.